The following article appeared in the print issue of Ponca City Monthly magazine, which includes hyperlocal stories about Ponca City. Get full access to all online articles, videos, and content by becoming a paid subscriber. We offer free and paid subscription plans. Find rack locations to pick up your free print copy here, or subscribe here to get online access plus exclusive content.
Random Acts of Kindness
May is a very special month! This month honors mothers, and I’d like to take the opportunity to say Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there and a special Happy Mother’s Day to my momma and mother-in-law and a huge Happy Mother’s Day to my beautiful wife, Ashley. Besides honoring all the mothers and mother figures, May also has a week dedicated to appreciating teachers (May 5-9) and a week recognizing law enforcement, National Police Week (May 11-17). I want to encourage everyone to take time out of your day to thank a teacher when you can! I and many others wouldn’t be the adults we are today without the impact and influence of a teacher. I was one of three teachers of the year for Ponca City High School 2025 as a school counselor, and I can only pray my influence in the lives of my students is as impactful as the influence my school counselor had on me! Also, don’t forget to thank a cop when you get a chance! Shout out to our law enforcement and my favorite cop, K9 Max, and his human, Cpl. Hopkins with Ponca City Police Department.
Teacher is a huge title, and when I hear that word, I think of the traditional role and the assumed education required to walk in that role. As I began thinking about my favorite teachers in preparation for this month’s issue of Mental Health Minute, I pondered what direction this article would go. I have said many times that I am a student and will always be a student because I love to learn! I learn from my son, my students at church youth group, the elderly, peers; anyone holding any role or position, I can usually learn something new! We are all teachers and can all be students if we allowed ourselves to be! Riley Calhoun (Vice President of Creative Cabinets) and James Devinney (Project Manager, Estimator and Engineer at Evans and Associates) insist on educating me on various things regularly, even against my will. Among the many things we have in common are our passion to impact the next generation and the importance of mental wellness. I recently had the opportunity to speak with them about many things, including personal mental health struggles and essential factors needed to establish and maintain resilience!
Both being leaders at their respective companies and in the community, in addition to owning their own businesses, a lot of pressure goes along with maintaining the standard of excellence in doing a good job all while maintaining the duty to be a good spouse, parent, child and friend! I asked them flat out – “How do you guys juggle it all?” They both sarcastically exchanged a glance, one saying, “We don’t!” and the other stating, “How do YOU juggle it all!?” Quickly, I dodged the attention and addressed Devinney. I wanted to know how he maintains good mental health with so many responsibilities, so I asked him. Devinney educated us on statistics of blue-collar workers and mental health stating, “I work in the heavy civil construction industry. I mean it is tough, dude; these men and women are tough, hard workers. In my industry, we know that there are six times more people that die by suicide in the construction business than they do from job-site injuries, and I’ve seen some job-site injuries. I’ve seen some very serious things, but the one thing that is more likely to take one of my guys out is not the hazard related to their job, it is them taking their own life.’
This statement stuck out to me because Devinney started by expressing how tough his workers are and ended his statement by explaining they’re six times more likely to complete suicide than dying while completing a hazardous job. This highlights the importance of perception! Perception has been said to be reality, and in reality, perception is simply an assumption. It is easy to overlook the mental health of a construction worker and assume they’re OK because they have a tough job. Devinney goes on to assert the importance of checking in on not only your loved ones, but also your friends, employees and neighbors because someone can present themselves as being OK and smile and laugh and even do tough jobs but can be suffering on the inside. He states, “Many people in my line of work haven’t learned to cope with their mental health struggles; it oftentimes goes unchecked, unnoticed and untreated, which has led to tragedy for so many. I choose to talk about mental health in our safety meetings four to five times a year just to make sure that people know that they’re seen and heard and to normalize these conversations among manly men and women!”
Calhoun waited patiently before stating, “Mental health is very real, and so many struggle with it. Sometimes it appears to be exaggerated.” She explained that at times it seems to be trendy to talk about mental health and identify as someone with a specific mental health struggle or condition. Unfortunately, she’s seen people align themselves with a condition they don’t actually have in order to fulfill a need (acceptance, identity, community and support). Calhoun shared this frustration with us and shared that mental health in recent years seems to have been sensationalized and as a result it has minimized the importance of taking actual care of mental health struggles! “Someone can have anxiety and have a depressed moment or low mood because of an experience or moment; does that mean they have a diagnosis of anxiety or depression? No! I think it is important to separate experiencing uncomfortable feelings due to an isolated or a few isolated events from having an actual diagnosis because they are not the same. People who have certain conditions don’t actually want to suffer from those things, so sometimes it kind of feels like a slap in the face when you see someone flippantly say they have PTSD or OCD; those conditions are real and should not be taken lightly.” Calhoun went on to share that it has been easy to neglect herself as of late due to having a newborn and ensuring her deadlines are met for work. She shares the importance of avoiding what her family calls “work insanity,” a term used when one works so hard they forget to eat and you don’t feel hunger or thirst or anything and you’re in the zone, working. “I feel like I’ve even gotten into that this week. Everything starts going downhill: your mental health because you feel burnt out.”
Calhoun and Devinney both acknowledged the reality of mental health struggles in the construction industry, in addition to ways of combatting those struggles. Both shared the importance of self-care and normalizing the conversation surrounding mental health! Both shared the importance of having boundaries with work and personal life and what a huge factor that plays in maintaining their various responsibilities. “Talking and being honest helps build resilience; having a support system and people in your life you can trust and seeking help, whatever that may look like for each individual will help maintain it (resilience). In short, leave work at work, talk about your feelings and check on those in your life.”
Remember if you or someone you know needs mental health assistance of any kind, please feel free to reach out to your local community mental health agency, call or text 988 – the suicide and crisis lifeline or call 911 for immediate emergencies.
Take care of yourselves and each other!
– Relo Adams, Mr. Ponca City
➡️ Opt in or out of different newsletters on your “My Account” page.
➡️ Learn more about Ponca City Monthly+
Ponca City Monthly is a locally owned publication that delivers hyperlocal news in print and online.
Like what we are doing? Feel free to forward this along and tell a friend.
Sponsorship information/customer service: email [email protected]
