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We’ve all heard of FOMO, right? Fear Of Missing Out? I have that terribly. I’m like a baby that fights its sleep because it doesn’t want to miss out on any action going on. And don’t get me wrong, I want to go to the event, the concert, the game, whatever, but my FOMO is pretty specifically targeted to my (3ish) friends.
Let a couple of my friends get together and don’t invite me? Guess whose house is going to be burnt down. (That was a joke and an excessive one, I agree, I would probably never burn down a friend’s house out of anger that they made plans without me.) How dare you be together, chatting, gossiping, drinking wine, having the time of your lives, while I’m at home BY MYSELF negotiating with my two tiny terrorist roommates that I’ll give them a quarter for every bite they take of broccoli (it was a nickel, but they are surprisingly good negotiators given how little life experience they have at ages 5 and 11). It’s no longer FOMO for me, they are the ones that should have fear if I ever catch them together and they didn’t include me in the group chat of plan-making. How dare you be at El Patio enjoying lunch, laughing, margarita-ing it up, and I’m at home, like an idiot, cleaning or doing something else that’s stupid. I make the sacrifice to only have a few close, dear friends (it isn’t a sacrifice, literally no one else will be friends with me, I think it might be because I joke/threaten arson, but I’m not completely sure), and they have the audacity to think they get to socialize without me? Think again. And you’ll have to think at your parents’ house, because yours will be nothing but ashes (LOL, joking again, please don’t call the police on me).
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