(FREE)December Letter from the Editor
by Kelsey Wagner | Editor-in-Chief
The following article appeared in the print issue of Ponca City Monthly magazine, which includes hyperlocal stories about Ponca City. Get full access to all online articles, videos, and content by becoming a paid subscriber. We offer free and paid subscription plans. Find rack locations to pick up your free print copy here, or subscribe here to get online access plus exclusive content.
I remember watching the movie Fried Green Tomatoes and watching Kathy Bate’s character struggle through middle age. “I”m too young to be old, and I’m too old to be young!” She sobbed. At the age of 15, when I first watched the movie, that phrase made zero sense to me. But I can finally say, I get it now. I have, myself, finally arrived to that “middle” part of life where I have lived through all the firsts. I’ve done all the exciting things. I got married, had children, bought our first house, and watched all my friends get married and have kids. And even the friends I knew who waited years and years to have children…have already had their children. I am no longer young.
Everyone I graduated from high school with is solidly settling into middle age. For the most part, I like it. The middle is not a bad place to be. Life is predictable in the middle years. Things are much easier to deal with when you’ve lived a LOT of life. I’ve been through so many situations and learned important lessons, so life events and interactions with other people are fairly on par with expectations. I know how to react in situations. I know how to diffuse an angry person. I know how to handle the stress of everyday life.
Being middle-aged, it’s odd to see new movies being made that are “set” way back in time during the early 90s and early 2000s (my high school years). I watch these new movies, and it’s hilarious how they try to dress the characters in vintage 90s clothing, complete with CD players, see-through house phones, and choker necklaces. It’s almost comical to me. Many times, they get it completely wrong. A lot of it is an extreme exaggeration and not remotely close to how we actually dressed in the 90’s-00s.I’m sure my parents feel the same when they see the crazy caricatures of the '60s, 70s, and ‘80s portrayed in movies.
It just doesn’t seem possible that next year will be 2025. Somehow we are halfway through the “20’s,” and soon we’ll enter the “30s” of the new millennium. Then it will be the 40s, then 50s and then we’ll complete another century circle. It seems like just yesterday I was writing my Editor’s notes about what life was like in the midst of COVID back in the 2020.
Time marches on. Slowly, it ticks and ticks away. I think we humans get caught up in our routines of life, doing the same thing every day, and it genuinely feels like time stands still. But time doesn’t stand still. It ticks on slowly and steadily, one second at a time.
I hope that wherever you are in life right now, the beginning, the middle, or closer to the end, you are finding happiness in your stage. Every day is a gift, and as Kathy Bates’s character shows us, it’s never too late to chart a new course or dream a new dream.
Tawanda!
But mending a broken relationship is a beautiful thing. Even if it’s been years - or even decades since you’ve spoken, don’t lose hope. And there’s no time better to try and mend relationships than during the holidays. Thanksgiving especially is a time to remember all the relationships we have to be grateful for.
It’s important to remember that mended relationships may not be the same as they once were. People change, they learn and they grow. If you are able to rekindle an old relationship, it may feel more like starting something brand new, and that’s okay too.
One of my favorite Disney movies is, “Lilo & Stitch” which features a little only-one-of-its-kind alien who befriends a little girl named Lilo. Lilo lives with her adult sister because her parents died. Both Lilo and Stitch feel very alone in the world, and they both are searching for their place in life. The little girl and the alien find each other, and become like family, and Stitch, the once chaos-obsessed alien lifeform, finally understands that he’s not doomed to be alone forever. He learns that relationships and family are good to be a part of, that he’s worthy of love. He learns that it’s okay if your family isn’t huge. It’s okay if it’s not exactly what you imagined it to be. It’s okay, even if it’s been broken in the past.
Stitch says, “This is my family. I found it, all on my own. It’s little, and broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good.”
So hug your family and friends tight this Thanksgiving. Be grateful for those who choose to be in your life. And don’t lose hope that those relationships you have lost may yet be mended someday in the future.
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