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Death can be overwhelming. Funeral Directors guide us through the logistics of paperwork, coffins, burials and funerals at a time when we’re at our most vulnerable. Annie Owen, a former funeral director with a resilient and compassionate spirit, is now sharing her experiences on TikTok, a move that recently earned her a feature in People Magazine.
With a laugh, Annie explains that growing up, she was definitely a “weird child.” At the age of seven, she attended her first funeral, and something deep inside her was sparked. On the car ride home, she told her mom that she loved funerals and thought they were great. Her mom, she says, said, “Annie, don’t tell anyone that.” Later in her junior high years, she attended another funeral, this time of a friend’s brother. The experience would have a profound impact on her: seeing how kindly the staff helped grieving families left a lasting impression.
As she was approaching her senior year in high school, she expressed her desire to become a mortician to her parents. But pursuing this unusual path came with challenges from the start. Due to the physical demands of the job, her father was initially skeptical of her career choice. “He said, women don’t have that job. He meant well,” Annie says. “He was like, ‘You’re not strong enough to lift the bodies, you know?’”
That early setback did not dampen her enthusiasm, even if it briefly redirected her. Annie admits that after that conversation and realizing she didn’t know any female morticians, she changed her career plan, but a chance encounter got her right back on track. While attending UCO to become a grief counselor, she met a female classmate enrolled in the school’s mortuary program. Meeting another female pursuing a career in the male-dominated industry was inspiring to her. While she was prepared for the emotional demands of the job, there was one part of it that she was hesitant about: “I was really worried about the aspect of the science, the body, the embalming.”
As her interest in the practical side of the profession grew, she lucked out in that a friend was in medical school and arranged for her to sit in on an autopsy class. “I was really nervous because I didn’t know if I was going to pass out,” she remembers. Annie said she didn’t pass out, and something about witnessing the autopsy gave her even more respect for life and the confidence to pursue her dream.
Building on her new confidence, after graduation, Annie worked at Trout Funeral Home here in Ponca City. She was excited to be following her dreams and working in her hometown. She explains that it didn’t take her long to begin realizing the emotional cost of her profession. “I don’t think I prepared myself for helping families that I knew personally. There were a lot of difficult moments, but it was so fulfilling for me to be able to be there for someone else.” The emotional toll was greater than she expected, but the reward of helping others navigate loss kept her going.
However, after nearly 20 years in the industry, Annie recently decided to scale back and step away from the work. While reflecting on the emotional stress of the industry, she decided to tell her own story on TikTok. What started as a cautionary tale for aspiring morticians evolved into something more like a platform for shared grief. While many popular mortician TikTokers discussed the technical aspects of the career, Annie chose to focus on the emotional side of the business, and more importantly, grief.
Sharing on social media quickly took on a life of its own. “Once I started doing that, I could just sense that it resonated with a lot of people emotionally. And I was starting to see people commenting, maybe on their own loss. And it became this platform that allowed people to share their grief. And I guess I didn’t recognize TikTok as that. It has become a kind of community where people can genuinely encourage one another. And the morticians can tell stories about the industry and what we’ve gone through, which I think people relate to, because things have happened in their own family and in their own lives.”
Her TikTok content continued to evolve. In addition to heartfelt stories, Annie began sharing her top 5. “One day I just thought, you know, here are five things that I don’t do because I’ve been a mortician, most of the list is derived from actually working with families.” One thing she shares is not letting her son ride his bike down their street. While many online criticized her “helicopter mom” approach to parenting, she says her experience handling children’s funerals helped shape these kinds of rules.
This style of candid sharing resonated widely. One of her cautionary TikTok videos, another about things she “won’t do because she has been a mortician,” went viral, garnering 800K views in under 24 hours. “I woke up and I thought, what? What? I cannot believe this.” She laughs thinking about how the video, that she nonchalantly posted, went viral, “A pink sweatshirt on, my hair's pulled back in a ponytail, you know, of course, it is the one that’s going to go viral.”
With her rising profile, Annie’s follower count continued to climb. Before going viral, Annie had built a surprising 16,000 followers. Afterward, her audience more than doubled to nearly 40,000. She says that her new followers have helped her decide to stay true to her storytelling. “The purpose of my TikTok channel was to help people learn through the situations that I have experienced. I really want to try to remember what the purpose is, you know, and always come back to that. And it’s really to try to just remind people that life is short.”
As her story circulated beyond TikTok, unexpected opportunities followed. One of her TikTok followers just happened to be a writer for People Magazine, and after the success of her Top 5 video, reached out to Annie and asked for an interview. Annie admitted that at first she thought the message was just another scam.
“I get a lot of random messages through TikTok; there are some creepy people out there. Sometimes, I don’t even open the messages. I received a message, and I briefly saw it, mentioning something about People Magazine.” She admitted that at first she was skeptical, but after doing a little research, she discovered the message came from not only a real person, but an actual writer for People Magazine.
It turned out the writer, Meredith Wilshere, had happened upon Annie’s TikTok page and started following her. She explained that Annie’s genuine and compassionate approach to the funeral industry had sparked her interest. So, the two met on Zoom. Annie said that, although she was nervous during the interview, she wanted to ensure that she represented morticians in a positive light, despite some of the job’s negative aspects. Weeks after the interview, Annie was surprised when everyone on Facebook began sharing her article.
You can follow Annie and get all of her great life advice over on her TikTok page at @_sixfeetover_.
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